Review: Ghosted

Ghosted seems like exactly a movie made by committee or algorithm that by all accounts should work but is just an utter disappointment of unmet potential. It really is almost like an AI generated film that mixes a standard rom-com and basic spy thriller.

Ana de Armas plays Sadie, the top CIA black ops agent by the codename “The Taxman.” She is deadly and beautiful but doesn’t make real connections because of her job. Chris Evans plays Cole, a ridiculously handsome and charming history buff teacher/writer who is a little emotionally stunted and has pretty much stopped his living. There is no real reason given for either of their character backstories, but it doesn’t really matter. They randomly have a meet cute/fight at a farmer’s market. Someone has to state that there is obvious sexual chemistry between the two (a recurring joke?). And in a wildly uncharacteristic move made out of nowhere Cole asks Sadie on a date and she agrees. They have a literal all day date then and there resulting in sex at the end of the day. In the morning, Cole leaves thinking there is something between them while Sadie has to go overseas for her job of being an “art curator.” She ostensibly ghosts him as she never responds to his texts, memes, emojis, etc. while she is away.

Cole, encouraged by his parents, does the classic rom-com guy maneuver of taking a huge swing that really is just criminal behavior and tracks Sadie down using the tagged inhaler he accidentally left in her bag. He is intercepted by Leveque’s (generic spy movie bad guy) men, abducted, nearly tortured, and then saved by Sadie revealing her true job of being a CIA field agent. They escape and try to continue and complete the mission Sadie is on and retrieve a dangerous bio weapon. Hijinks ensue. Feelings are revealed and hashed out. Harsh truths are discussed on both sides. Cole becomes a competent enough field agent absent training or reason (again, standard spy thriller stuff) and against all logic and odds, Sadie and Cole manage to save the world and the day. They continue to date. Cole finally grows up and pursues his dream of writing a book. Sadie continues her work as “The Taxman.” But now, they make time for each other to have a relationship in between research and international espionage.

Look, I was not expecting this movie to be incredible or amazing. What I would not have guessed was how boring, charmless, and utterly engaging it is. There is obvious talent across the board on this film. And the budget is apparent on the screen. We have seen Evans and Armas have legitimate chemistry in other projects. Both are talented and have done exceptional work in both genres before. By all account this movie should at least be good enough to merit notice, but the final product is just so bland and dull. No clue how the production team managed to pull that off considering the caliber of cast and cameos, but I almost have to give them praise for pulling it off. Either way, Ghosted is not a film you should seek out. Maybe if you need background noise and want to use your AppleTV+ subscription instead of Netflix or Prime.

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